I Can't Let Go
by Xtina Jones
Summary: A JK post-rescue fic. Though they've been apart for months, Jack can't let go of his feelings for Kate. Sucky summary. Please RR.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Nothing at all.

**A/N: **This is my first big story, so all criticism is welcome. And please review!

**A/N2: **Lyrics are from the song "Let Go" by 12 Stones

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_I feel so alone Again. _

_I know that I need you_

_To help me make it through at night._

Jack turned his key in the door and pushed it open. He stumbled through the dark hallway and fumbled for the light switch.

He found it and flicked it on. He cringed as the bright lights blinded him momentarily.

He tossed his coat in the direction of the coat stand and walked into the kitchen.

He went to the refrigerator, opened the door, and grabbed a can of BudLight. The fridge door silently closed behind him as he made his way to the couch. Popping the can of beer open, he sank onto the couch and undid his tie.

He lifted the can to his lips and was about to take a sip when something across the room caught his eye.

It was the phone.

The moonlight was shining through the window right onto the table where his phone sat.

The phone itself was not exactly what had caught his attention, but the crumpled paper lying next to it.

The piece of paper had been ripped from a bedside hotel pad, scribbled on hastily with a hotel pen, and shoved into his hand.

Jack got up from the couch, leaving his beer behind, and walked over to the phone. He stared down at the piece of paper and read it for at least the thousandth time.

He already knew what it said, but he could see her in his mind more clearly when he was looking at the words she had written.

815 Waterview Park Boulder, Colorado Apartment 4C 

_Or call: (482) 827- 3337 _

_Ask for Joey's Pizza_

That's where _she_ was, where _Kate_ was. If she had gotten out of jail.

He closed his eyes, remembering how they had coming banging on his hotel room door…

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**A/N: **So there it is! Chapter 1! I'll post the next one (FLASHBACK!) soon. Just review! PLEASE! And I threw in a little "Hidden Meanings" kinda thing in the address and phone number. Figure it out and I'll use your name as a character. And you'll feel good about yourself. 


	2. I Need You Now

**Disclaimer:** Same as before: I still own nothing whatsoever.

Lyrics belong to 12 Stones song, "Let Go"

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_**FLASHBACK:**_

_His bags were packed and sitting by the door. He had a flight back to L.A. that he had to catch in two hours._

_Kate had come knocking on his door ten minutes earlier to say goodbye._

_When he had seen her standing in his doorway, he was surprised. They hadn't talked to each other since the helicopter ride off the island._

_Whether this was because they had nothing left to say, or they didn't know where to start was beyond him. _

_He hoped it was the latter. Sure, he and Kate had had their unresolved issues, but that didn't mean they couldn't work them out. Right?_

_He didn't get a chance to answer his question though, because right after he'd opened the door, Kate had thrown herself at him._

_She wrapped her arms tight around his neck and, unlike the caves, he could actually hug her back._

_So he did._

_He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair._

"_Charlie told me you were leaving." She whispered into his shoulder. Then she looked up at him and said, "Why didn't **YOU** tell me?"_

_He stepped away and turned his back to her. He couldn't answer her question._

_She grabbed his arm and turned him back._

"_Why, Jack?" she demanded._

"_Why did I not find out you were leaving until just an hour ago? Why have you been avoiding me for the past two weeks? Why aren't you even talking to me?"_

_He gulped and ran his fingers through his air. How could he tell her the truth? What if she didn't feel the same way? He would look like a fool._

"_Answer me, Jack."_

_He looked at her and saw all he had ever wanted, all he would ever need, in her eyes. He knew what he had to do._

"_Because I was afraid I'd do this." He whispered._

_He took a step closer to Kate and lifted his hand to her face._

_She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch._

_It was now or never._

_He closed the gap between them and caught her lips in a passionate kiss. Her arms slid around his neck and she pulled him closer._

_They reluctantly pulled apart a few seconds later. He looked down at her and gave her a small smile._

_She smiled back. "And what exactly was so frightening about that?"_

_He laughed. "Nothing really. I just didn't think you'd actually enjoy me kissing you."_

_Kate sighed. "I understand. Ever since we opened the case, things between us were… different."_

"_That would be an understatement."_

"_Jack-"_

"_It's okay Kate. I didn't mean it like that. You don't have to apologize. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. It's not exactly like I tried to patch things up."_

"_That's the problem Jack. The whole thing **WAS** my fault. If I'd been honest with you from the beginning, none of this would've happened and we wouldn't be standing here having this argument!"_

_Jack sighed and threw his hands in the air. "You know what Kate? You're right. It's your fault. I blame you for everything. I blame you for being the way you are, for killing whoever it was that you killed, for being on the damn plane! I blame you for things you had no control over! If you want to think it's your fault that we're in this situation, fine. Maybe now I'll be able to sleep at night."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" she yelled._

"_You really want to know?"_

"_I want to know everything."_

"_I can't sleep at night because whenever I close my eyes, I see you. The same image flashes through my mind, you crying because of me. Because I was angry with you. Because I wanted so bad to be able to trust you. Because I wanted to make you see that I would force the truth out of you if I had to. Because I was in love with you but knew we could never be together."_

_Kate just stared at him, speechless. The last thing she had expected to get when she had come to Jack's room was his confession to being in love._

_With her._

_Not that she minded him telling her, but he said **WAS** in love with. That was past tense. Did he still love her? Or had she REALLY screwed things up this time? There's only one way to find out._

"_There's something you should know," She began. She looked up and locked eyes with Jack. _

"_I love you, too."_

_They held each other's gaze until they heard the pounding on the door and the shouts of "Open up!"_

_Kate looked back to him, and he instantly understood what was happening._

"_The authorities." She whispered, her voice full of fear._

_He grabbed her hand. "Kate, whatever happens, you have to know that I'll always be there when you need me. Never doubt that."_

"_Jack-"_

"_Now's not the time, Kate. Stand back."_

"_What are you doing?"_

_He looked back to her. "I'm saving you."_

_Then he opened the door and the authorities rushed in. He put up a pretty good fight, knocking out one of the officers and delaying the other two. But he was no match for them. They threw him into the wall and grabbed Kate._

_By the time he got up, they were dragging her away._

"_Kate!" he shouted_

_She stretched out her hand; in it was a folded piece of paper._

_He grabbed it just as the officers pulled her away and slammed the door behind them._

_He stood there for what seemed like hours. Then he sank to the floor, buried his face in his hands, and cried…_

END FLASHBACK

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Jack blinked back the tears that were forming in his eyes. He missed her so much. He needed to see her face, hear her voice. He couldn't survive without her. Look what his life had come to. He was drinking again, getting to work late. He was turning into his father. He needed to turn things around. He needed to get his life back.

He needed Kate.

_Cause I pray that you believe in me._

_You gave me my strength_

_To face another day alone_

_And I need you now my friend,_

_More than you know_

_When will we meet again?_

_Cause I can't let go of you…

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**So there's chapter two folks. I hope you liked it. I'll try to update a lot this week, cuz I have NO SCHOOL! That's if you all WANT an update…maybe if you review, I'll know! What a great idea! Please review! Even a little short thing would be nice…**


	3. This World Brings Me Down

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…blah blah blah

**A/N: **Thanks to my reviewers! I love you guys! (Even though there's only four of you…)

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I was kinda stuck…Hope you like it!

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_This world brings me down, again._

_I know that I need you_

_To help me make it through at night._

_And I know that you're the one_

_For me._

Kate lay on the cot staring up at the cracked cement ceiling. Rusty metal springs poked her back and she found it hard to fall asleep.

After three months in this place, you'd think that she'd have gotten used to it by now.

But the rusty springs weren't the only reason why sleep eluded her.

Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Jack.

Of all the images of him her brain could remember, it had to remember this one.

The image of Jack the last time she had seen him.

He had a look of total helplessness on his face, his arm outstretched, trying in vain to pull her back to him.

And his eyes. His hazel eyes.

That's what was most vivid in her mind, his eyes.

They were so deep. They were endless pools she had constantly found herself getting lost in every time she looked at him, or when he looked at her. And they reflected so many emotions.

She had never seen so many emotions swirl in his eyes before that day at the hotel.

Fear.

Longing.

Desperation.

Confusion.

Love.

So many feelings expressed in such a small amount of time.

If she never saw Jack again, she would never know the depth of each emotion. What had he been afraid of? What did he long for? What had confused him? And the question that would not leave her alone, Did he really love her?

Kate liked to think he did, that one day he'd show up and get her out of this place. They'd get in his car and just drive.

To where? It didn't matter to her, as long as she had Jack.

Of course, he hadn't told her that he'd come and get her. And if he'd called or gone to the address she'd written, he would have found that she was not there.

Would it matter to him? Would he continue looking for her? Had he even been looking for her in the first place?

Every night her mind was plagued with all these questions. Questions she wanted, _needed_, answered.

Kate sighed and rolled on to her side. The bed creaked loudly beneath her. She looked at the wall.

Her first night here she had begun etching tallies into the stone wall for every day she had been in prison. Last time she checked, she was somewhere near 90.

Her eyes drifted downward to her more important tally.

This one had many more marks than her "Days Spent In a Living Hell" count.

It was her "Days Without _Him_" count.

She was at 158.

158 days without his smile, without his laugh, without his touch.

She didn't know how she had made it through 158 days; she had barely made it past Day 1.

Closing her eyes, she drifted off into a fitful sleep where she was haunted by the memory of _that_ day.

The day they had taken her from Jack…

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Well folks, hoped you liked that. I sense a Kate flashback coming up… Please review! And thanks to my first four reviewers:

**ilovecherries123: **I'm glad you like my story! Yours was THE FIRST review, and it made me feel good about the story! I'll try to update more! And I like your idea for more stories along this same line…

**standardblack: **First off, I have to say I absolutely LOVE your name! That is one of my favorite J/K moments of all time! And who doesn't like Jack/Kate? I can't say if Jack will call Kate, but he will call someone. Someone who can hopefully help him find her!

**rain1657: **Glad I could help you get a nice Jack/Kate visual. I never knew I was that good at descriptions! And you were right about the Joey's Pizza thing being related to ALIAS (love that show). All I can say is Kate isn't a secrets agent, but this gave me an idea of someone else in the story that will be…

**blah-bloody-blah: **I'm glad you heart my story! I heart your review! Sorry it's taken so long for me to update, I was having a bit of writer's block! But have no fear! The block is gone!


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